How to Win Friends and Influence People

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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Mind Map: How to Win Friends and Influence People

1. Handling People

1.1. 1. Don't Criticise, Condemn or Complain

1.1.1. People are emotional (Logic is secondary)

1.1.2. Understand the Intent over action

1.1.3. Closes the door (put people in Defensive)

1.1.4. Ask for details

1.2. 2. Give Honest & Sincere Appreciation

1.2.1. Positive reinforcement

1.2.2. Human nature is the craving to be appreciated

1.2.3. Be Sincere (don't be Flattery)

1.3. 3. Arouse in the other an eager want

1.3.1. If there is any 1 secret of success, it lies in your ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from their angle - Henry Ford

1.3.2. Learn Other person view & Intent

2. Make People Like You

2.1. 1. Genuine interest

2.1.1. Become Genuinely interested in other people

2.1.2. Start with you

2.2. 2. SMILE

2.2.1. Action speaks louder

2.2.2. Express Happy / Glad / Importance

2.3. 3. Remember Name

2.3.1. Sweet word in the world (Name)

2.3.2. Remember the name and call /use Name

2.4. 4. Listen

2.4.1. Be a Good Listener. Encourage / allow others to talk about themselves

2.4.2. People loves to talk about themselves (like You)

2.4.3. No need to overlap or tell your story. You will get time to tell your story (same amount of time you gave)

2.4.4. Shut-up & Listen

2.5. 5. Talk other person's interests

2.5.1. Talk in terms of other person interests

2.5.2. You learn new things

2.5.3. Talk about the what is other person interests

2.5.4. Other person likes you

2.6. 6. Make other important

2.6.1. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

2.6.2. Find good thing in other person (even simple) - provide genuine compliment

3. Be a Leader

3.1. 1. Praise & Honest

3.1.1. To find faults - Begin with praise & honest appreciation

3.1.2. Explain the good part before faults

3.2. 2. Call Mistakes indirectly

3.2.1. Call attention to mistakes indirectly

3.2.2. Ask genuine questions

3.2.3. Help to identify themselves

3.3. 3. Own Mistakes

3.3.1. Talk about own mistakes before criticizing others

3.4. 4. Ask Question

3.4.1. Ask questions over giving answers

3.4.2. No own likes taking order

3.4.3. Help to find answers, ask clarifying questions

3.5. 5. Save Others Face

3.5.1. Lets others save their face on faults

3.5.2. It won't hurt the ego even they are wrong

3.6. 6. Praise Always

3.6.1. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement

3.6.2. Be genuine (not flattery)

3.6.3. Be specific on the improvement (not Just good work, explain what good in it)

3.7. 7. Reputation to Live

3.7.1. Give people fine reputation to live up to

3.7.2. If you want improvement, praise that they have started

3.7.3. Support and be happy for them

3.8. 8. Encourage

3.8.1. Use Encouragement. Make the Fault seem easy to Correct

3.8.2. Explain the improvements and explain the next steps

3.8.3. Be specific and focus on improvement

3.9. 9. Make Happy

3.9.1. Make the Other person happy about doing that thing

3.9.2. Find what the other person really wants

3.9.3. Explain how this helps him to get his needs

4. Win People to Your Way of Thinking

4.1. 1. Avoid Arguments

4.1.1. Avoid Argument. Don't resist people. Agree to disagree / dissolve their resistance

4.1.2. Cannot Win Argument. You will only Lose.

4.1.3. You win argument, you lose people (Even win is lose)

4.1.4. Avoid arguments or lose to win people (& Argument)

4.2. 2. Show Respect / Be Polite

4.2.1. Never say that other person is wrong

4.2.2. It hurts feeling (Emotions over logic)

4.2.3. Start with 'I might be wrong' and ask detail

4.3. 3. Admit Quickly

4.3.1. If you are wrong, Admin quickly and emphatically

4.3.2. Thank openly for help.

4.3.3. Other person more likely to have forgiving attitude (> 95%)

4.4. 4. Begin in a Friendly way

4.4.1. Makes other feels good

4.4.2. No sandwiching, Start Friendly & Positive

4.5. 5. Get YES YES

4.5.1. Get the Other person saying 'Yes Yes' immediately

4.5.2. Start with question that other person agree with

4.5.3. Ask as many Yes questions before challenge

4.6. 6. Let Others Talk

4.6.1. Let the Other Person Do a Great Deal of the Talking,

4.6.2. Easiest way to build trust

4.6.3. Listen their pain, desires, feelings,...

4.6.4. If other need to listen you, you must listen them (Get influenced to influence)

4.7. 7. Market as Others Idea

4.7.1. Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers

4.7.2. No one enjoys being told what to do

4.7.3. Add others point of view and present like their idea

4.7.4. Give a feel to other person that their point is taken for action

4.8. 8. Other Point of View

4.8.1. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

4.8.2. Putting yourself in their shoes

4.8.3. Pause & Ask yourself what other person wants

4.9. 9. Be Sympathetic

4.9.1. Be Sympathetic with other person's wants & Desires

4.9.2. People want to be understood

4.9.3. Validate their thoughts, ideas and feelings

4.9.4. Think if you are in their place, what you think?

4.10. 10. Nobler Motives

4.10.1. Appeal to their nobler motives

4.10.2. Appeal on good parts (Honesty, Fairness,..)

4.11. 11. Dramatize your ideas

4.11.1. Its not easy to win with simple words

4.11.2. Grab & hold attention

4.12. 12. Throw Down a Challenge

4.12.1. Create competitive spirit

4.12.2. Challenge motivates people