Willpower Instinct - Kelly McGonigal - Big Ideas

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Willpower Instinct - Kelly McGonigal - Big Ideas by Mind Map: Willpower Instinct - Kelly McGonigal - Big Ideas

1. Ironic Rebound

1.1. 1. We think even more about the thing we are trying to stop thinking about

1.1.1. 1. Insomniac who doesn’t want to think about sleep

1.1.2. 2. Person who is trying hard not to come across as a try hard

1.1.3. 3. Person who is trying to not be nervous

1.2. 2. How to handle it?

1.2.1. 1. Stop suppressing that thought. Go ahead and think it ... 1. Once you do it … it goes away

1.2.2. 2. I trust that I can handle this thought/feeling

2. 1st rule of willpower - know thyself

2.1. 1. Self awareness

2.1.1. 7. Notice the 2 minds inside you - the impulsive and the powerful. 10. You have 2 parts inside of yourself 1. Inner monster 2. The wiser self Example situations Cookie Working out vs watching TV Social Media vs Working on your business Comedy Videos vs calling your mom

2.2. 2. Self knowledge is the foundation of self control

3. Training the will power muscle

3.1. 1. Creating and meeting self imposed deadlines

3.2. 2. Committing to performing certain important tasks consistently

3.3. 3. Choosing to do the difficult tasks first

3.4. 4. Will power workouts:

3.4.1. 1. Strengthen I won't power

3.4.2. 2. Strengthen I will power 1. Commit to doing something everyday

3.4.3. 3. Meditation 1. Their brains become finely tuned willpower machine 2. 3 total hrs of practice - improves will power and self control 3. After 11 hrs visible changes in brain 1. Improved neural connections in areas responsible for focus, ignoring distractions and managing impulses 4. Study - 8 weeks of daily meditation increases gray matter in corresponding areas of brain. 5. meditation increases blood flow to your PFC just like working out increases blood flow to your muscles 11. Being bad at meditation is good for self control. That's what makes it work. That's the whole point. Catch yourself moving away from the moment and bring yourself back to the moment. Perfect practice for self control 13. Self control is all about noticing when you have moved away from the goal and bring yourself back to focus on it

3.4.4. 4. self monitoring 1. Track something you usually don't track - biz time, food, money

3.4.5. 5. Set up small challenges

4. Stress shifts the brain into short term reward seeking state

4.1. 1. Most common strategies for dealing with stress = doing things that activate our reward system like eating, watching TV, surfing Web etc. They are the worst.

4.2. 3. Goal to feel better trumps the goal of self control

4.3. 4. Most effective stress relieving strategies boost mood enhancing hormones like serotonin and gaba and oxytocin

4.3.1. 1. Work out, exercise, sports

4.3.2. 2. Time with friends and family

4.3.3. 3. Nature

4.3.4. 4. Reading

4.3.5. 5. Meditation

4.3.6. 6. Hobbies

4.3.7. 7. They are not exciting and hence we underestimate the value of them

5. Thomas schilling - Nobel prize in 2005

5.1. 1. To reach our goals, we must limit our options

5.2. 2. Pre-commitment

5.2.1. 1. Rational self and tempted self are at war with each other

5.3. 3. Cortez - best strategy for self control is to burn the ship

5.4. Thomas Schelling showed how one party in a conflict can often strengthen its position by overtly worsening or limiting its own options – by "burning its ships". - nobelprize.org

6. Optimistic pessimism

6.1. 1. When am I most likely to give in?

6.2. 2. How am I most likely to get distracted from my goal

6.3. 3. Imagine that situation

6.4. 4. Let yourself see how that willpower failure will unfold

6.5. 5. Turn the imaginary failure into a willpower success

6.5.1. 1. What strategy will you use?

6.6. 6. See yourself succeed

7. Exercise = wonder drug for self control

7.1. 1. Increases grey matter and white matter

7.2. 2. Increases base HRV

8. Heart rate variability

8.1. 1. Fight or flight -Sns

8.1.1. 1. Heart rate goes up. Variability goes down

8.2. 2. Thoughtful action - pns

8.2.1. 1. Heart rate goes down. Variability goes up.

8.2.2. 2. Sense of focus and calm

8.3. 3. Heart rate variability = body's reserve of willpower

8.3.1. 1. Measure of capacity of self control

8.4. 4. Slowing your breath down increased heart rate variability

8.4.1. 1. get it down to 4 breaths per minute

8.4.2. 2. Takes only 1-2 minutes to get the benefit

8.5. 3. Breath

8.5.1. 1. Slow down your breath to 4-6 per minute to activate your parasympathetic nervous system.

9. To succeed - Know How you fail

9.1. 4. Strengthen your willpower immune system

9.1.1. 1. Reflect on your goals in the morning

9.1.2. 2. How will you avoid temptations that you take away from your goals

9.2. 1. Identify why where and when you loose self control

9.2.1. 3. What's the fatal error you make?

9.2.2. 13. Email addiction 1. See if you can catch yourself and try to understand why you want to give in to the impulse you have right now

10. It's a Muscle

10.1. 1. Self control dissipates over time

10.2. 2. Blood glucose levels are important for self control

10.3. 5. Train it just like an Athlete

10.4. 9. Use it or lose it.

10.4.1. 1. Don't become a will power couch potato

10.4.2. 2. Don't run will power marathon everyday

10.5. 3. Exercises

10.5.1. 1. Brush with your non dominant hand

10.5.2. 2. Say yes instead of Yeah

10.5.3. 3. Train the I won't power

10.5.4. 4. Train the I will power

10.5.5. 5. Design your own small challenges

11. Dopamine and Reward system

11.1. 3. Dopamine's primary function is to make us pursue reward. Not to make us happy.

11.1.1. 1. Our brains mistake the promise of rewards with the guarantee of happiness.... So we pursue things that do not deliver

11.1.2. 4. Become aware of dopamine triggers in your life - times when you are being triggered to seek reward even when none is there 1. Endless browsing 3. junk food

11.2. 8. Learn to differentiate the real rewards that will move you forward from the false rewards that keep you addicted

12. Bias: The future you

12.1. 2. Cognitive dissonance - buying credit from tomorrow? You think tomorrow will be good. Your behavior will not be better Tomorrow. You've got to do the right thing today.

12.1.1. 1. Create daily rules/rituals to combat this

12.2. 1. We lull ourselves by thinking that we won't give in to the temptation tomorrow.... So let's give in today