How to Stop worrying and start living

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How to Stop worrying and start living af Mind Map: How to Stop worrying and start living

1. Links

1.1. Buy the book

1.1.1. Amazon link below

1.2. Dale Carnegie training

1.2.1. www.dalecarnegie.com

1.3. Get this Mindmap

1.3.1. It is a great bird's eye view of the book

1.3.2. In a moment - you can see all the best ideas in one place

1.3.3. You don't even need to watch the video or listen to the audio again

1.3.4. Just go to the mind map and click on the idea you want to explore

1.3.5. www.2000books.com/self

1.3.6. Click on the i button on the top right corner of your screen

1.3.7. Link in the description below

2. Live in Day Tight Compartments

2.1. Big Ships have water tight compartments in their hull

2.2. In case of a leak in one compartment

2.2.1. various parts of the ship are shut off from one another

2.2.2. The Leak is limited to one compartment

2.2.2.1. It never floods the entire ship

2.2.3. And the ship stays afloat as a result

2.3. And that's what we must do

2.3.1. We must

2.3.2. Shut the iron doors of past and future

2.3.3. And Focus on today

2.4. Break down your Giant goals and Big Worries - into what you can do today

2.4.1. What can you ACT on today?

2.4.2. What would be a WIN today?

2.5. Just Focus on Winning Today

2.5.1. Rather than worrying about everything else

2.6. Every single day

2.6.1. You wake up

2.6.1.1. Have Specific Goals for the day

2.6.2. And you focus on nothing else

2.6.2.1. But accomplishing your goals

3. What's the worst that could happen?

3.1. When you are faced with seemingly big problems and challenges

3.1.1. Ask yourself

3.1.1.1. Whats the worst that could happen?

3.1.1.2. What's the absolute worst?

3.2. I remember the day before the biggest job interview of my life

3.2.1. Let me tell you the story

3.3. The year was 2004

3.3.1. I had just lost my Engineering job in Austin Texas

3.3.1.1. Given that I had an H1B Visa at the time

3.3.1.1.1. I had 30 days to find a new engineering job

3.3.1.1.2. Or I would have to leave the US

3.3.1.1.3. And go back to India

3.3.2. So

3.3.2.1. I had just flown to San Jose

3.3.2.1.1. For an interview at

3.3.3. It was one of the biggest interviews of my life

3.3.3.1. And I was stressed out to the limit

3.3.4. So... in that moment of extreme stress..... I took a piece of paper

3.3.4.1. And started to write down

3.3.4.1.1. What's the worst possible scenario?

3.3.4.2. And I wrote down

3.3.4.2.1. In the worst case

3.3.4.2.2. I will probably move to Delhi

3.3.4.2.3. And I would get to spend a lot more time with my mom and dad

3.3.4.2.4. So in many ways

3.3.4.3. And in that moment

3.3.4.3.1. I had a sense of calmness I had not felt since the day I lost my job

3.3.5. The next day

3.3.5.1. I did a great job at the interview

3.3.5.2. And got a job offer from Harmonic Inc

3.4. SO that is the Power of Accepting the worst case

3.4.1. That acceptance

3.4.1.1. Can paradoxically give you a lot of strength

3.5. Once you Accept the worst case

3.5.1. There is Nothing more to loose!

3.6. Once you accept the worst case possible

3.6.1. You get a certain sense of calmness

3.7. AND Now begin to improve upon the worst case situation

4. Want the 10 Best ideas from this book?

4.1. www.2000books.com/bonus

5. Forget your own happiness and instead create happiness for others

5.1. Our instinct is to shrink up and be with ourselves

5.1.1. But we have to do the exact opposite

5.2. Help Others in Need

5.3. Paradox of life

5.3.1. When you set out to make others happy

5.3.1.1. You get even more happiness in return

5.4. John D Rockefeller Story

5.4.1. At 33 - made his 1st million

5.4.2. at 43 - the biggest oil tycoon in the world

5.4.3. at 53 - he was stricken with a mystery disease

5.4.3.1. Started losing all his hair

5.4.3.2. Could not digest any food

5.4.3.2.1. Left to eating curdled milk and crackers

5.4.3.3. Insomnia

5.4.4. "Sane in every respect, but mad about money"

5.4.5. Doctors said he was stricken with worry

5.4.5.1. Nothing could be done to cure it

5.4.5.2. He had to take a break

5.4.6. One night

5.4.6.1. During his insomnia

5.4.6.1.1. He started thinking of other people

5.4.6.2. Stopped thinking of how much money he could acquire

5.4.6.3. Started thinking of what that money could do for human happiness

5.4.7. Right after that

5.4.8. Started giving it away

5.4.8.1. Rescued a little college that was about to be foreclosed

5.4.8.1.1. "University of Chicago"

5.4.8.2. Gave it to churches

5.4.8.2.1. They would not take it

5.4.8.3. Health

5.4.8.3.1. Helped wipe out "hookworm"

5.4.8.4. Created "Rockefeller Foundation"

5.4.8.4.1. Helped stop spinal meningitis

5.4.8.4.2. Helped with

5.4.9. Then came the greatest defeat of his career

5.4.9.1. Standard Oil was forced to pay the biggest fine in US history

5.4.9.2. Told his lawyer:

5.4.9.2.1. "Dont worry Mr Johnson, I intent to get a good night's sleep"

5.4.10. Lived to the age of 98!

5.5. Book: Upside of Stress - Kelly McGonigal

5.5.1. Study

5.5.1.1. 1000 adults

5.5.1.1.1. 34-93 yrs old

5.5.1.2. How much stress have you experienced in the last one year

5.5.1.2.1. High Stress

5.5.1.2.2. +30% risk of death

5.5.1.3. How much time have you spent helping others

5.5.1.3.1. +0% risk of death

5.5.1.3.2. Weekly basis

5.5.2. Stress Makes you Social

5.5.2.1. We have a built in mechanism for stress management

5.5.2.1.1. And that is social connection

5.5.2.2. Stress Releases Oxytocin

5.5.2.2.1. It affects your mind and body

5.5.2.2.2. The benefits of oxytocin are enhanced when you reach out to others for support

6. The 4 Step Process

6.1. When you are stressing about something

6.2. One of the most powerful things you can do

6.2.1. Is to make a decision

6.2.2. About what you will do next

6.3. As Dale Carnegie says

6.3.1. That relieves 50% of the stress

6.4. Not only that

6.4.1. One you start taking action on that decision

6.4.1.1. Another 40% stress goes away

6.5. So you have dealt with 90% of stress

6.5.1. Just by making a decision

6.5.2. And taking action

6.6. So when you are worried, here are the 4 steps you must take

6.6.1. Step 1: What exactly am I worried about?

6.6.2. Step 2: What can I do about it? What is under my control?

6.6.2.1. Stoic Philosophy 101

6.6.3. Step 3: What will I do

6.6.4. Step 4: When will I do those things?

6.6.4.1. Specific Time and Place

6.6.4.2. Calendar

6.6.5. Step 5

6.6.5.1. Take Action

7. Get Busy

7.1. Get Busy solving your problems

7.1.1. Solving problems so demanding that you have no time to worry about anything else

7.2. When you Lose yourself in action.... you will not have the time to worry

7.2.1. Work so hard that you are exhausted by the end of the day

7.3. Real story from Dale Carnegie's class - Michael

7.3.1. Lost 5 yr old daughter

7.3.2. 10 months later

7.3.2.1. Lost the newly born baby

7.3.3. Could not take it any more

7.3.3.1. Went to doctors

7.3.3.1.1. Doctors were helpless

7.3.3.1.2. Were out of options

7.3.4. Still had a 4 yr old son

7.3.4.1. One day, Michael's Son insisted on helping him build a toy boat

7.3.4.1.1. Michael said NO

7.3.4.1.2. He had no interest

7.3.4.2. Son kept on insisting

7.3.4.2.1. Michael finally gave in

7.3.4.3. Worked with his son for 3 hours to build the toy boat

7.3.4.3.1. Those 3 hours were the most peaceful 3 hours he had in a very long time.

7.3.4.4. Major realization

7.3.4.4.1. Being busy had cured his worry for the time

7.3.4.5. Next day

7.3.4.5.1. Went around house making a list of everything that needed to be done. 242 things

7.3.4.6. And he attended to those 242 things over the next few months

7.3.4.6.1. Totally stopped worrying

7.4. Winston Churchill

7.4.1. A reporter once asked him

7.4.1.1. Are you worried about the war and the responsibilities you have?

7.4.2. "I'm too busy. I have no time for worry"

7.5. Why does it work?

7.5.1. Law of human mind

7.5.1.1. It is not possible to think about 2 things at the same time

7.5.1.2. Try this experiment right now

7.5.1.2.1. Think of an elephant

7.5.1.2.2. Now also think about your biggest goal for this year

7.5.1.2.3. Its not possible to think of both at the same time

8. Accept what is

8.1. William James

8.1.1. "Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune"

8.2. This is the essence of Stoicism

8.2.1. What is stoicism?

8.2.1.1. This is most fundamental understanding of stoicism

8.2.2. At any given moment - Being able to differentiate between

8.2.2.1. What you can control

8.2.2.2. And what you can not control

8.2.3. And focusing all your energy on

8.2.3.1. What you can control

8.2.3.2. And letting go of what you can not control

8.3. For example

8.3.1. I fractured my toe a few months ago

8.3.1.1. Just when I was in midst of a fitness challenge

8.3.1.2. After fretting on it for 3 mins

8.3.2. I realized

8.3.2.1. There is nothing I can do about it

8.3.3. I went ahead and modified

8.3.3.1. My workout regimen

8.3.3.2. To focus on upper body workouts

8.3.4. And that allowed me to massively improve my bench press numbers over 2 months

8.4. That is the power of Accepting what is

8.4.1. And living life like a Stoic

8.4.2. We are always focusing on what we can control

8.4.3. And letting go of what we can not control

8.5. The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

8.5.1. All about

8.5.1.1. Loving what is

8.5.1.2. As it is

8.6. Serenity Prayer

8.6.1. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference"

8.7. JC Penney

8.7.1. "I wouldn't worry if I lost every single dollar because I don't see what's to be gained by worrying. I do the best job I can and leave the results in the laps of god"

8.8. Epictetus

8.8.1. "There is only one way to happiness. And that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of will"

9. Don't overpay for the whistle

9.1. Ben Franklin Story

9.1.1. Story left such a mark on him that he still recounted this story when he was 70

9.1.2. 7 yrs old

9.1.2.1. Was smitten with a whistle

9.1.2.2. Saved up all his money

9.1.2.3. Went to the store

9.1.2.3.1. Put all his money down and asked for the whistle

9.1.2.3.2. came back home very happy - he had his dream whistle

9.1.2.4. Going around home playing whistle

9.1.2.5. Siblings found out how much he paid for the whistle

9.1.2.5.1. Started making fun of him because he had overpaid

9.1.2.6. Lost all the joy in the whistle

9.1.3. 77 yrs old

9.1.3.1. A great part of the miseries of the mankind are brought upon them by a false estimates they have made of the value of things - and by giving too much for their whistles

9.2. A lot of things in life are like that whistle

9.2.1. We do not realize that we are overpaying

9.2.2. But we continue to pine for it

9.3. Even Money can be like that whistle

9.3.1. Are you paying too much in terms of health, family, happiness etc to get that whistle?

9.4. Ask yourself

9.4.1. Am I paying too much for this whistle?

10. About

10.1. Tony Robbins often says: "The size of your life is directly proportional to the size of the problems you can handle"

10.2. So the key to a great life

10.2.1. Is not to avoid all problems

10.2.2. But to be able to handle the most challenging problems that come your way

10.3. And in this book

10.3.1. Dale Carnegie talks about

10.3.1.1. how to handle the biggest problems in your life

10.3.1.2. How to quit worrying about your problems

10.3.1.2.1. And start handling them

10.3.1.2.2. Start living again

10.4. This Book

10.4.1. Published in 1944

10.4.2. Sold 6 Million copies since

10.5. In this Video

10.5.1. I will give you 5 powerful strategies to conquer worry

11. Ben Franklin's 2 Column Technique

11.1. Worried about making the right decision

11.2. Make 2 columns in a page

11.2.1. Pros

11.2.2. Cons

11.3. List out all the Pros and Cons in those 2 columns

11.3.1. Now you have all of your decision making points on one page

11.4. If you find 2 points that are of equal weight on either columns - cross them out

11.5. If you find one point on one side that has the same weight as 3 points on the other side - cross them out as well

11.6. At the end you will be left with very few items and you decision will be much easier